All I ever wanted to do is dance.
Where is the line between what we as artists create and what we believe about the world we live in? Is there a line? Should there be one? Is it reasonable for us to expect that people will accept what we create while ignoring what we think?
These questions have been swirling around in my head since February 24, but really in some measure they’ve been there since long before we watched an adversarial country of ours invade another one, a neighbor.
These questions are being asked now as arts institutions globally state their positions unequivocally on the situation in Ukraine. With their positions have come sanctions of their own…an assertion that Russian or other artists associated in any public way with Vladimir Putin make clear their repudiation of he and the war he has waged on their neighbor to the West.
Are these “sanctions” —the consequences of not speaking up resulting in cancelled or postponed gigs, forced resignations, firings, loss of contracts —what some call speak out or sit down, what others are calling a witch hunt, reasonable?
Is it reasonable to expect an artist to denounce someone, something in order to keep a gig? What extenuating circumstances do we unreasonably overlook that might prevent their stating a position?
What if on the other hand, the artist in question is a native of the offending country, does not condone the war but on the grounds that they are “not a political figure” will not denounce the primary aggressor; rather turn on the West that they live in and that helped launch and finance their careers with vitriol one would assume should be reserved for the head of their country?
For some institutions, fealty reputably enough in the past but also not rescinded seems to be all that is needed for arts executives to pull artists from productions, rosters, etc. Some artists who have not stated a position now but whose fealty is unquestioned and abject have been for all intent and purpose, completely and irrevocably cancelled. Where is the line?
Do they deserve that? Or do they deserve just as much right to believe and say what they want without such consequence?
I welcome your thoughts as I don’t have an answer…only more questions. Including….
What’s Next???
SAA
Three glasses of Bordeaux
You can hear the heat outside
Angry bugs hemming and hawing
Rubbing their legs together
I’m hot I’m hot I’m hot
We are hot too
Sweaty with longing
Frustrated by resistance
Futilely hiding from an invisible assailant
Living the blockbuster movies we awed at
And dismissed as fantasy
A good yarn
But the yarn is now long and real and hard and hot
So we rub our hands together like the bugs outside
Longing for respite
-What’s next? - SAA
A rose by any other name...
Shortened version of this commentary first established as a Facebook Timeline post on 7 Nov 2017.
I was trying to find some data on the economic impact of the arts on the Dallas GDP a while back, and came across the comment below offered as a response to a Dallas Morning News commentary about performing arts economic contributions to Dallas. Before you read what this one person (LsLambert) said about the arts that irked me so much, let me just offer:
Performing Arts ( whether “two-bit third rate ( and worse) so-called " arts", or not) are not the only arts contributors to the economic development of a city, folks. And I say that still working side hustles in the performing arts and having two performing arts degrees. We gotta start thinking more broadly then that because there are too many people (see below) who don't think we (in the 'arts’) are worth anything at all. I recognize that the arts are subjective…for me, an artist endeavors to offer, ultimately, something of themselves and their world view in creative ways, and leaves it to us, the audience to decide whether its two-bit, third-rate or whatever LsLambert and anyone else decides it is for themselves.
I don't say this because of my career trajectory in the arts and the need to defend it. It just happens to be true. I benefited from a second MA in Cultural Policy and Admin from a university in England, where the continent, Spain, Canada, Mexico and other places in the world consider the CULTURAL ARTS, of which performing arts are not the ONLY arts but part of a much broader artistic and cultural canvas.
The arts outside of America is an umbrella under which exist: performing arts, museums, libraries, literature, parks, recreation, health and wellness, tourism, graphic and fashion design, galleries, technology, culinary arts, heritage, film, architecture, etc. And they all feed into and support one another and the communities they serve.
Attributing performing arts to being the ONLY arts is like attributing the word Coke to any kind of soda you want when you are at a restaurant. The waitress comes up and asks, 'What would you like to drink?', and you say, 'a Coke’ .', and she asks, 'What kind’?
Tsk tsk tsk....
I appreciated the article because the intent was good but the almost sole recognition in it of the performing arts as THE sole arts contributing to Dallas economics leaves a whole swath of dedicated and creative, hard-working artists, arts administrators, educators, policy-wonks, patrons, volunteers, and appreciators behind; the performing arts are one sliver of the umbrella’s nylon covering. Would it hurt to be more open?
Your thoughts, as always, are welcome. Until then...
What's Next???
Selena
LsLambert
May 16, 2017
i'll tell you about an economic boost. it will take decent streets, respected police and fire depts, good schools, parks and recreation not two-bit third rate ( and worse) so-called " arts". good libraries. affordable housing. non-crook politicians who in fact are stealing from those they are elected and paid to represent. and a mayor not in the ray hunt's pocket would also help.
Is Art Really Ever Just Art?
Santa Monica has really made the news!
Summary: Dennis Prager has been asked to conduct a fundraising concert for the Santa Monica Symphony Orchestra. His beliefs about traditional American values and what makes a great America make #DOTUS and #Bannon look like regular old school-yard bullies by comparison. Prager is not a trained conductor but the argument in the article devolves from that into a greater discussion over his appointment representing the worst insult to minorities, the LGBTQ community and anyone else he does not deem worthy to live in this country...rather the ones that have made this country worse again.
I don't agree with Prager's views about people like myself (Hispanic, minority, female), my LGBTQ friends, my non-Christian friends, or any of the other people he deems 'deplorables'; but like everyone else in this country he is entitled to his beliefs and opinions.
I agree that someone not trained as a conductor should not be leading an orchestra, and though I don't think him being asked to serve was intended by the Music Director (MD) and Board to align Santa Monica Symphony(SMS) with his views, the MD and members of the Board are not stupid.
They know what this man believes, and they know their musicians, they know their audiences, they know their community, and how this specific appointment would rile them up.
How could they not have some idea that asking him would draw this kind of attention to the concert, which is a fundraiser they desperately need to have go well?
It could be argued that they are using this man's popularity and following by individuals who follow and align with his values, to promote the fundraising concert.
Unfortunately, those views he has extolled and widely shared have bolstered political rhetoric and decisions, and are the ardent beliefs of some in this country who want their elected representatives to legislate the way this man in particular believes.
So no matter what, there is no getting away from this appointment not having a political underpinning. He is a big name with a big bully pulpit that he uses to great affect. There is no way that was not going to come up.
He (Prager) is right....liberal is, or at least strives, to be open-minded. So I can see the argument that the music (the arts) should just be left to stand on its own, regardless of the beliefs of the artists. I can also fully appreciate why the artists, the regular audiences and the community-at large would not want this man to lead this concert. Prager said, “I have never used a conducting appearance to make a political point,” Mr. Prager said. “In fact, I was particularly pleased to help the orchestra of one of the most liberal cities in America to make the point that great music should transcend political differences.”
But there simply is no way that his views wouldn't come up and not be a point of contention. He knows that, and so does the MD and Board of SMS.
And that is where my concerns lie....more with the decision the MD and Board made to ask this man to serve in this capacity. Lammell (MD) said, “I anticipated it,” Mr. Lamell said. “I think it’s perfectly reasonable. It’s perfectly fair. No one is ever forced in the symphony. It’s always voluntary. I expected it to happen. All I can say is that, ‘Yes, some people cannot separate their political views from their musical views."
He and the Board certainly must have had some discussions about what the announcement of this man in particular serving as guest conductor would do for the success of the event. How the controversy once announced would draw more people to the event. It's clear from Lammell's responses in the article that they were well aware of the effect the appointment would have on their artists (and likely their audiences and the community).
People love salaciousness and will pay for it; so it could be argued they caved to that notion, in asking him to conduct, so that they could sell tickets. If that is the case, to quote the MAGA in Chief, 'that is just sad'.
The open letter, (link in the article shared below) is intense. Read the article first before tearing through to the letter.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/07/arts/music/santa-monica-symphony-dennis-prager-conservative-guest-conductor.html?emc=edit_tnt_20170807&nlid=53167764&tntemail0=y
Your thoughts, as always, are welcome and until then...
What's Next???
Selena
No One Puts Baby In A Corner...
It's been a little more than a year since I last posted anything but today something which I posted about via social media not long ago reared its ugly head again. It got me thinking about related posts that perhaps have a better, and dare I say, more rational platform here, that I did not address the way I wanted to.
A while back on Facebook I posted about an incident involving an Hispanic woman I come into contact with occasionally. In my Facebook post, I related how she laughed at me when I mis-pronounced a Spanish word. I did my best to laugh at myself in that moment, and continued to make small talk with her, who I devoted more time than I should have, or that she deserved, to explaining to her why I don't speak Spanish. On my Facebook post I lamented that I was disappointed in myself that I gave her an explanation she clearly did not deserve or require.
Since then I have generally and sometimes more pointedly wondered why, as Hispanics are being so trodden upon in this country, particularly as it relates to issues of legal vs. illegal immigration that continue to target Hispanics with expedience, would this woman laugh at me and my poor Spanish-speaking skills, rather than try to help me, and champion my efforts.
Today I ran into this woman again. I have seen her a few times in passing since the first incident and I thought, well that was then and today is today. But unfortunately she had not forgotten that incident a while back and while greeting me in Spanish, she was already laughing before I could get my Spanish reply out, truly snickering at me when I responded in Spanish. Laughing in a pointedly haughty and condescending way, she shook her head slightly and rolled her eyes a bit, as if to say, 'Why do you bother trying? You are ridiculous, and you are a disappointment to Hispanics...but its funny for me so I am going to get my laughs.'
As recently as yesterday, I had someone on Facebook who responded to a post of mine involving a NAACP warning to people of color in Missouri, that the NAACP was likely just trying to 'gin up media coverage' for themselves. What this person who commented on my NAACP post did was no better than whatever the NAACP was warning against in Missouri, and no better than the woman who dismissed me because I don't speak Spanish.
Instead of focusing on imminent concerns the NAACP has for people of color, as part of an inspiring and long-standing mission to protect people who continue to be discriminated against and hurt and abused and racially profiled, this person dismissed the notice in my post as potential 'marketing'.
Now some people will read this and say I am probably overreacting to the woman's treatment of me, overreacting to the person who responded to my NAACP posting yesterday. To those of you who would also dismiss any of this....what's your story? What's your experience with racism, with prejudice, with social injustice however large or small? I won't be dismissive of your story, and I won't deign to say I understand or can appreciate it. I won't tell you you are likely just seeking attention, or try to commiserate by telling you my story and saying they are the same...cause guess what? They are not the same. I don't encounter the same prejudices you do. I don't want to. Mine are challenging enough on their own.
All I want to do is listen (i.e. read if you respond using this platform:).. I want to relieve you of the burden, even if only a little bit or for a moment, of that experience.
That is how change is effected...at least to me anyway. Laughing at someone, instead of encouraging their efforts, isn't going to get them to take those steps forward any faster than they currently are; dismissing a notice or warning or post related to racism because it seems nothing more than grandstanding and leveraging situations for (lack of a better word) greedy, exploitative purposes instead of really asking what might have led to that action, isn't going to solve the problem the notice or warning seeks to inform about.
Opinions rarely, if ever, solve anything.
If you have a story you want to share, I'm all ears (and eyes:) Until then....
What's Next???
Selena
I'm not important enough to listen to...
I have struggled over the last few months with determining what topic is most valuable and appropriate to consider here. I don't kid myself that I have devoted followers or regular readers but I do know of a few friends who have told me they like what I write, so I wanted to honor their commitment to my thoughts with something worth their time.
Every time I thought I had a topic picked out something new happened in the world or in my own life that informed my world and brought me back to square one of trying to decide what to discuss.
And then the events of Thursday, July 7 at roughly 9pm in downtown Dallas, my hometown and the city I currently call home, happened. And all the other topics I had been considering left my mind.
Now I don't believe that any recent tragedy that came before in the world has less significance then Thursday night. Rather in some ways I think those other terrible moments were a precursor, an affretando that led to a terrible crescendo culminating in the deaths of true heroes.
The ripple effects are being felt, starting with 50 arrested individuals in Minnesota who continued the protests after Thursday over the recent and past loss of lives at gunpoint. And it has continued with a woman who just today, when I tried to provide some information to her, told me I was not important enough to listen to. She was white and I am not going to pretend that for at least one moment I didn't take a particular kind of offense, one I would normally never deign to acknowledge when I have been confronted like this by anyone that does not share my government sanctioned ethnic distinction. (I hate the word Hispanic!)
I couldn't help but think in those first moments after my confrontation with her, which witnesses agree was totally one-sided and that I handled myself with grace and aplomb, that her behavior ne mentality is one of many on both sides of these partisan racial aisles we are creating for ourselves in this country, that led to Thursday night and the events that have preceded it. I'll also freely admit that when I went outside from where I had contact with this woman, I thought she might be waiting for me, hunkered down in her car with a gun. She is in the Air Force and I live in Texas, which has an open carry law. That so soon after Thursday I was personally confronted with these thoughts and fears, really has driven this post. That I was suddenly thrust into being so fearful and untrusting of law enforcement and white law enforcement at that, however briefly, has left an indelible mark. To combat that I have since spent time thinking about what might have that woman encountered in the moments before I met her or at some other time in her life for her to be so angry and react so aggressively to such benign information that ultimately is designed to keep her safe. What is she is so fearful of and unwilling to understand that she would react in such a way?
I don't know what the answer is. The further I moved away from this incident, the further I moved away from her race/ethnicity. I thought back to this morning. While driving from yoga class I thought that what the country could use is a giant group therapy session...collective town halls where we can try to discover what is really going on with us. Then after this encounter this afternoon I would emphatically posit that it's not about us not being able to understand each other, it's about us not being WILLING to understand each other.
That unwillingness is what breeds fear and that fear is what we have chosen to let direct our lives.
At the end of the day it is not about black or white or brown or any of the other colors, ethnicity, sexual or religious orientation or anything else that adds uniqueness and for lack of a better word, definition, to our lives.
I won't speak for anyone else but I believe it comes down to good and bad....good and bad don't have colors or gender or ethnicity or religious or political affiliation or sexual orientation. Good or bad is a choice. And while some of our political or religious choices might be influenced by family or other cultural environs, we absolutely can choose whether to be good or bad. I don't believe that are any influences strong enough to sway us from good to bad....in the end there is always only one choice and it is ours to make.
For those of us that choose to be good, there is only one question that requires our attention in these moments...
What's Next???
Selena
Balancing Acts
I read an article this morning about strategic leadership by a peer from my graduate alma mater City University, London. The individual talked about successful strategic leadership that is predicated on a heartfelt mission; a mission which has values close to the hearts of those employed to lead and fulfill that mission.
I am in the arts, nonprofit at that, and I have never encountered a time when the missions I fulfilled for myself or chose to fulfill for others weren't possessing of values that were near and dear to me. Likely why I am so poor financially but so rich in every other way...not a bad place to be really;)
The peer pointed to Richard Branson and Steve Jobs as model strategic leaders who want(ed) to 'change the world' and concluded that is why their models are so successful. From a heartfelt and financial standpoint, they are quintessential strategic leaders.
But we cannot all be Richard Bransons or Steve Jobs' and most of us who produce art or cultural or some creative commodity produce it in the nonprofit sector, not the corporate sector.
No matter how successful financially and mission-wise a nonprofit is, paying the bills and running in the black, even if its an even bottom line, is a huge accomplishment but it doesn't yield the same financial returns that what the Bransons and the Jobs of the world produce. Never forget the sectors of the creative industries that do not struggle with this problem quite as much as others-Broadway, Hollywood, the Music Recording Industry, Professional Sports, Big City Tourism, Established Fashion Design. The list is rather endless and though I don't begrudge anyone their success, let's call a spade a spade.
While I want to continue for my work to mean something to me at the very least, to be purposeful and inspiring and motivating for others, I have encountered more recently that this kind of 'heartfelt' strategic leadership just isn't the most appropriate place for me or smaller nonprofits I have been involved with to work solely from.
I agree that no work I do or others produce, whether for the nonprofit or corporate world to succeed, can be bereft of heart. However a healthy dose of pragmatism and common sense about the value others place on a mission is equally important. I believe that is what Jobs and Branson and others like them understand and why they are so successful in their endeavours. Michael Kaiser, Former President of the Kennedy Center had a great phrase that sums this up rather decently, at least respective of the arts...'Good Art, Well Marketed.'
Of course the monkey in the wrench is a classic Aaron Sorkinism....'the problem with common sense is that it's common.'
Which leaves me, you and anyone else that produces art or culture or creatives with one question...
What's next???
Selena
Special Edition Blog: Ifigenia en Tracia
Rather than my silly face and a What's Next title, I am supplying the video I created from Ifigenia en Tracia here...of course this a shameless attempt to plug my own website:) I hope you enjoy this video 'blog' (shot entirely on an Iphone, in case you couldn't tell.)
It's grainy or blurry at points, not every piece of music lined up exactly like I wanted despite my best attempts, I filtered to an even sepia tone because some of the light was just too poor during shooting to address adequately in post but I didn't want anything important to end up on the cutting room floor...roughly 12 minutes of film from about an hour's worth total.
This is for all of you who worked so tirelessly on this production. You are the reason I do what I do. Big Texas hug to each of you and only one question...
What's next???
Selena
PS Take note of the unintentional yet kind of awesome J.J. Abrams style light flashes. I did not use a flashlight against the camera to create those...just lucked out. Double click on the video and it will fullscreen for you;) S.
Conundrums and Expectations
I'm struck by the idea of the expectations we place on others to provide us with happiness...or at the very least a sense of comfort or ease or purpose and how those expectations leads us to create or produce/reproduce the art that we do....
In the last two weekends (this one and last weekend) I have known happiness and disappointment at the same time....in people who exceeded my expectations in one breath and then lowered those expectations to the point where I cannot see them anymore.
So I am left wondering, is it my fault for believing those expectations are ok for me to have of everyone, to trust in the personal part of our relationships AND the professional part or should I never trust anyone to truly meet my expectations no matter how amazing they seem?
Is it ok to have hope that the people we involve ourselves with will exceed our expectations? Or should we only hope that they will meet them and stop at the water's edge and not allow ourselves the luxury of thinking that maybe they will go far above and beyond what we expect of them?
Is that the place where we find ourselves when our art...whether its dance or a script, a song or a scenic design or piece of visual art or architecture, comes alive and is its purest and most truthful? I point back to a previous blog when I referenced a piece of #AaronSorkin writing when I quoted a Poet Laureate character of his, Tabitha Fortis, who said,
'You think I think that an artist's job is to speak the truth. An artist's job...is to captivate you for however long we've asked for your attention. If we stumble into truth, we got lucky, and I don't get to decide what truth is.'
I don't get to decide what anyone else's truth is...all I can do is know and trust my own truth and what I can contribute and hope those I involve myself with will have the courage and inspiration to know their truth and what they provide me to expect from them and bring it to work with me. Because if they do that, then I all I need to ask is....
What's next???
Selena
The run-around...
Sorry for the hiatus...life;)
Have you ever suddenly come upon the realization, either on your own or in coordination with others, that you (and they) are being manipulated or were given the run around?
Doesn't really sound like something that would happen in non-profit work right? We are all so above that and while we might get creative with how we do things and and juggle money to make the production or program work, back-dealing and underhanded corner cutting is a stereotypical corporate concept ne construct. That doesn't mean it doesn't exist in the nonprofit sector or the cultural industries.
I am not bringing this up because it is necessarily anything I have encountered. But in conversation with other 'arts producers' recently, the differences between the for-profit and non-profit sectors became the focus of the discussion, respective of a recent article on the American art sector's contribution to the national GDP (https://shar.es/14OEQO via @sharethis).
Given the economic contribution that the arts make to the national economy, I simply wonder why the arts here are not more highly regarded....at least from a business standpoint. Let's face it, we aren't ever going to champion culture and the arts the way other countries do but we certainly do care about money as an indicator of success so its surprising that we aren't jumping at the chance to produce more art.
That makes me wonder that if more people in the corporate sector really paid attention to the economic impact the arts provides this country, would they try to overtake the arts? (I am not talking about Hollywood, Broadway or big budget music concerts, et al) And then would we see more back-dealings and Ponzi scams or even just individual manipulation and hidden corner cutting come to the surface over time?
Who knows? I would certainly hope the arts, oddly in spite of the economic contribution it provides the country, can retain some purity and nobility of purpose i.e. some how retain some level of poverty. I imagine the only way that can happen is if artists, administrators, educators, patrons, audience and enthusiasts continue asking....
What's next???
Selena
Patience is a true virtue...
but what do we consider worth being patient for? Ladder-climbing career opportunities? Endless, love at first sight kind of love? The nonfat, no foam, extra shot, 180 degree Starbucks in a cup?
When I am motivated by work for instance I know that nothing really stops me. I am an Aquarius and if the idea of my sign's characteristics holds any water, then I, the water bearer am not really capable of having the kind of patience required for things to get started...especially when I am the one that is charged with starting them. I am the rushing river, the high tide, even the trickling little brook when called to develop something, especially something that I am passionate about. And I believe I have a unique gift of seeing the big picture from all the little ebbs and flows that will require attention for the work to actually come to fruition. But I don't ever really stop moving...
...until this weekend when I was confronted with the title of this post in an email response. And I realized that I am not being paid yet to do the work that ultimately I will be tasked with once my contract is formalized. So I stopped physically doing any work.
Now I didn't stop making mental notes and that exercise got me thinking about past and forthcoming work I have and how if I had really sat on my laurels and been truly and virtuously patient, would past opportunities have fallen through and not led to others?
There certainly is a time for patience and taking time to simply enjoy the work or other spoils of life and I am learning more each day to parse and vett my work into appropriate amounts of time. But my experience has taught me, rather decently I think, what moments deserve patience and what moments must be seized; when the trickling brook is called for or the rushing river.
I have my concerns about the work I am patiently waiting to do because the expectation that I will magically make everything happen in record time will possibly follow and then leave me tired, frustrated and resenting the opportunity in the first place...IF I LET IT.
But if I simply respond when those unrealistic expectations manifest with 'patience is a true virtue', I will appreciate the work I am more than capable of doing; knowing me I will still get it done in record speed and surely I will learn more about the process and the respect I must have for myself, my abilities and my time, which is just as precious from a personal perspective as it is from a professional one.
And then like those that remind me that patience is a true virtue, I can calmly and patiently ask...
What's next???
Selena
Art lasts forever....
The title comes from part of a line from an opera I saw this weekend. And its true. Art lasts forever. Not only in the tangible things we witness like opera or a painting, a piece of fashion or a song that reminds us of some special moment. It lasts in that place in our psyche that no one can see, that we can usually only access ourselves; that leaves us breathless or exhilarated, proud or even sad and reminds us to appreciate the culture and life around us.
Occasionally we are fortunate enough to glimpse art and culture from another person's perspective. And if we are paying attention, that idea that art really lasts forever is never more true. I had that opportunity this weekend, showing someone around who had never been to my hometown and what I have discovered is that the things I take for granted, the art and culture that is around me has its own vibrancy and reality and whether I am a part of it or not, as a participant or a creator of it, it will last forever and it does have an impact on others.
This weekend I too discovered both tangible and intangible things about my hometown that I had never considered before...I even came across monuments I had never seen before and in the most unlikely of places. Places I have frequented took on greater significance because I had the unique opportunity of 'showing off' my hometown a little. And I was able to take pride in the art and culture this city produces in a way that I had not before.
Am I married to my hometown? I certainly am not and almost anyone you meet who has spent 10 minutes with me would know that. But I found a greater appreciation for where I am right now then I have in a while. And I came to understand what it means that art lasts forever. It is a simple as someone asking...
What's next???
Selena
Roads are for journeys, not destinations....
Dubai.
I had been in Dubai no more than 12 hours. I was sick as a dog in my hotel suite somewhere close to the MOE (Mall of the Emirates) and I was pretty certain I was going to die a slow painful death in the desert! I turned on the tube to try to ignore the fever and there was Grease in bold living color on to make me feel better.
But it wasn't just Grease...it was UNCENSORED Grease! I mean every single idiom and dirty joke was presented for the Arabic and English-speaking cultures of the UAE to hear and absorb. In the States Grease, shown most often on TBS, is always very strongly censored. But not there! Rizzo, Danny and all the others were truly living up to their less than squeaky clean reputations.
Casually I mentioned this to a colleague several weeks later once I had acclimatized to my environment and actually felt like a human being again (that jet lag is ridiculous...especially if you had a lengthy visit in Moscow!)
The gentleman I mentioned it to was both surprisingly and not surprisingly schooled at MIT. Not surprisingly because why not? He was from Pakistan but that certainly did not mean he could not be schooled at MIT. Surprising because he had lived in the US and learned at least some American idioms and he never equated anything he heard on the version he was watching in Dubai as something that perhaps should not be for broad very conservative public consumption according to their moral and social customs and religious teachings.
The most embarrassing thing about this situation was that I then had to explain the idioms and phrases that were quite shocking and when I did he was of course, shocked:) How can you not be when you are suddenly confronted with the specific phrases of Greased Lighting (the double entendre AND the blatant lyrics.)
Once I explained it all, he said, 'Wow. I am gonna talk to my friend at the TV station about this. He works with the censors.'
And that was that...or so I thought. Only about a month and a half later, I happened to have one night completely free of networking events, work meetings or business dinners and I turned on the tube and there it was again, Grease...CENSORED!
Ok so am I the reason Grease was censored in the UAE? No. But do I think its possible my observation of an uncensored Grease on a shy, unknowing public told to one guy could have resulted in their taking a closer look, realizing what they were presenting to the UAE and perhaps neighboring Qatar and Amman and enacting change? YES! ABSOLUTELY! Did I mean to do that? NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT!
What I hope in sharing another little experience turned adventure is that we can find a way to never commit to censoring ourselves or others, especially those we care about. It was justifiably pointed out to me recently that I have censored myself (sort of) and on reflection, two people, not one I know, for my own convenience. We are all guilty of that. But that is not truly the way I want to live my life. If that were the case I would have been happy to stay in Dubai and watch censored Grease every six weeks or so.
Maybe I should have been outraged at the TV station in Dubai censoring Grease given this new lease on life I want to embrace but that was then and this now. And while maybe I should push back and fight for freedom of speech and expression everywhere, do I think that the UAE is going to suffer for not having the full experience of Grease uncensored? No. Do I think that censorship was challenged and lost in this instance? Not really. MENA has its own beautiful culture and traditions that don't require a censored or uncensored Grease to make it complete.
So I will maintain my newly non-censored but still respectful, kind and graceful self for the States and those around me willing to help me create uncensored personal and professional adventures, moments, shows, art and films, dance and music, food and culture. If they and I are really willing to commit as much as possible and censor as little as we can of ourselves, all any of us need ask is...
What's next???
Selena
...to draw closer, to see and be amazed.
I met someone this evening who reminded me that adventures and adventuring don't have to be anything we actively go after. I've been a little maud over beautiful images of one friend's recent travels in particular because they are of places I love and have been myself. But I was shaken from that pitty party when reminded that there are moments in our lives that if we look at them just a little differently or maybe after a time, will reveal themselves as adventures and that don't make us any less the adventurer that says....
'Oh this weekend I am going skydiving, and next weekend I am spelunking and the weekend after that I am going whitewater rafting on a Class 5 river after hiking through a forest for fifteen hours.' (I have done several of these things btw but they weren't all things I actively pursued or planned...some honestly just happily happened. And I don't begrudge anyone who does actively pursue such activities or any other kind. In the words of my grandfather Anguiano, have-ass it;)
(And a shout out to those who will say they will be unavailable during their adventuring when in fact we all know we will see moment by moment posts of it all via Instagram, Twitter or FB...insert audio of John Mayer's 3X5 above, right here.)
Pretty needless to say, the blog bug hit instantaneously when I was almost slapped in the face with this thought of what constitutes an adventure and I could not wait to get to a computer to think out loud;)
I have lived on three continents if you count North America, where I was born. And I have lived numerous fantastic places in this country. And while I assume and can relate really incredible moments that I have had in those places, those where not adventures I actively sought. They were opportunities that I decided to take that I believed would (and that have) led me down the Wonderland rabbit hole of creativity.
I want to relate an experience that I now categorize as an adventure but at the time, was just me and another of my friends living life and quite frankly, just trying to survive a little. As I continue creating this blog, I am sure I will be inspired to share more of my experiences that perhaps I can now call adventures. This adventure, as I now think of it, fits into a movie somehow that I will make one day!
Sicily.
It was our five-day break on the University of Dallas Rome Campus and all my closer theatre friends wanted to back track to more familiar places. I wanted to go to Sicily but I was warned it was not safe for a girl to travel there alone. But I wanted very much to see Palermo, Agrigento and if I played my cards right, the tiny town where scenes from The Godfather I, II and III had been filmed.
I happened upon two friends who I will only call Dave and Todd, as they had nicknames back then that I cherish but that maybe they would not appreciate so much nowadays. Todd and Dave agreed this would make for a nice five day so we threw our gear into our packs, boarded a train at Termini with bottles of wine, bread, hard Italian sausage and blood oranges and away we went. We rode that train all the way to Villa San Giovanni and caught the ferry over to Messina where we intended to sleep for the night before starting the trek (via goat-back riding!) to Godfather country before winding our way up to Palermo and then down and around the other side of Sicily to Agrigento.
Mind you, we didn't really think of riding goats into the dry hills of Sicily to get to this little Godfather-esque town an adventure. It was just a means to an end. We camped for the night in a tiny little slip of a hotel and actually spent the night with a big group of Italian guys, eating pizza, drinking Birra Moretti and cheering Italy and one of my daddy's favorite Italian soccer players in World Cup quarter-finals.
We rose the next day and went straight to a carpark to catch a bus to the town on the coast where we would hike to the goats that would take us to the Godfather town (the irregular cadence in that sentence cannot be created with hashtags btw!;) Only the bus ride to that town could more accurately be described as a jostling, Hail Mary prayer not optional , 50s Italian pop blaring descent into Dante's 9th Circle of Hell! The driver was drunk or just...drunk. He swerved erratically along a cliff edge driving a dilapidated bus that was also from the 50s and we simply hung on for life while the other passengers sang along.
Arriving in this tiny no name town later in the afternoon, we were informed that the goat rides were closed for the day. I don't know, the goats were on siesta, who knows. Worse, we were stuck in this town cause there was no bus or train back to Messina until the next day. So what did we do for the night where there was no place for us to sleep or eat or do anything but get slowly soaked through by a constant pissy rain? Dave took off for the local night club that was blaring something unintelligible from the outside and Todd and I decided it would be fun to dry out in a street tunnel of some kind and see how many Italian movie posters we could collect from giant billboards that had 10-sheets plastered lazily one on top of the other, burying posters of American and British classics and crap from years past. I managed to score a poster of Michael, of The English Patient and Star Wars (alas that last poster is gone...I cannot talk about it.)
After a time the rain stopped and Todd and I made our way to the Mediterranean sea edge, copped a squat and smoked Todd's last two Romeo and Giulietta's before the rain returned to ruin them while waiting for the posters to dry out in that random tunnel we found. Passing out in the sand, as the sun came up and Dave rejoined us, we collected our posters and made our way back to the local carpark where we caught THE SAME BUS back to Messina. Several Novenas later and we were back on the train, sans my dorm room keys, to Agrigento.
Only we were not going to Agrigento (Palermo being abandoned at this point.) Falling asleep in our car from shear exhaustion, Todd and I woke to find ourselves on a train that split. Dave was headed to Agrigento and we were headed to Palermo.
And we did not want to see Palermo at this point. We just wanted to go back to Rome. So we boarded another train, made sure we were on the section that split our way and pulled into Rome at about 9pm and a massive transit strike that was going to leave us stranded in Rome overnight. Having little money and being too tired to think clearly, Todd and I bought crappy Italian McDonald's (something we had all sworn we would never do), and got a taxi from Termini to Anagnina which was the closest station to the campus in Due Santi.
Of course being as tired as we were, we didn't conceive that the buses would also be on strike. But what's the difference really between the floor of an outdoor Metro station and a Mediterranean shore? GYPSIES! Beautiful, roving gypsies who would expertly slash the wallet right out of your back pocket were you dumb enough to be that American;) Todd and I slept with our backs pressed against one another, sitting up, with our packs slung across our chests and our arms resting on the tops of them, as pillows for our drooping heads. Finally at around 6:45am we boarded a bus that took us to the street leading to our campus and then to closed and firmly locked gates. After several attempts, the head of the Rome Program, Wayne Ambler (Ramblin' Ambler) came and let us in, asking our reason for being back early. When we related our story he agreed we would be allowed back onto campus for the remaining day of our five day and reminded us to get to the grocer down the road before it closed because there was no food on campus.
Five or six hours later, after a shower and a quiet nap in my empty dorm suite, a gentle knock on the door revealed Mrs. Ambler, inviting me to an al fresco dinner by the pool with she, Dr. Ambler and their two daughters. I gratefully accepted and ended up spending one of the most memorable nights of my young life in the company of kind, intelligent, generous people, enjoying homemade pizza cooked on the outdoor forno, bottles and bottles of wine and several spirited games of Bocci and Scopa. (Todd decided to make his way back into Rome, the transit strike having ended and therefore missed the incredible dinner and company.) I woke late the next day, Sunday, to my roommates, all with incredible stories and pics; my sweet, beautiful, quiet little experience being overshadowed by larger than life adventures of the rowdy college kind.
So you see, an adventure does not have to be on purpose...as long as you recognize what you have experienced is purposeful, it can be a complete set of accidents that form a fantastically funny and sweet story. The purpose I found in my 'adventure' is that I learned how to truly be unafraid of the #wanderlust after that. And being able to relate an adventure like that, the only really necessary question left to ask is...
What's next???
Selena
Most people do not see the world as it is...
...they see it as they are.
I struggled last week with what to write to the extent that I did not post at all and this week in some respects is no different. So many things have happened to me personally in this last week that I am looking around to find something other than my own personal experiences to draw from.
But then I remembered that for those of us that CREATE, our personal experiences color and perfume our work. And I have been saying this enough in previous posts so to not give a little more of myself then I would normally do seems somehow hypocritical. Of course I hope what I offer at any point in the evolution of this blog is the opposite of the title of this specific post.
However, the title IS the point of this post: most people see the world as they are, not how it is. Either because they are fearful of being criticised, rejected or worst of all, loved. I have known such fears recently and though I won't elaborate I will offer that those who were the catalysts for such fears in me were not the primary instigators. I was. I am the instigator of my own fears and those fears are what hinder me at times from moving forward as the creative catalyst I have coined myself as.
These fears don't mean I cannot contribute very well to the varied and exciting artistic work I am capable of or currently engaged in. And if anyone is fearful of my criticism, my 'teachable moments' as I call them or my love, whatever kind it may be, they are simply missing out and that is their loss, not mine.
But contributing and creating are two different things entirely, aren't they? If so then I want to ask and I am hoping for honest, forthright, heartfelt answers....how do we create rather than merely contribute? Are they different things in fact? And circling back to the title, how do we not create through eyes that only see the world one way...our way; and not how it is?
If we do draw from our own experiences, then how can we not create through those eyes ne lenses that at times only see the world as we each individually see it?
I have no answers. Just one question...
What's next???
Selena
Something's Missing....
Someone I know had the privilege of going to Vietnam last year to document another person's journey back for the first time since fighting a war no one really wanted. But rather than being confronted with cold, lonely, worn faces he experienced peace, happiness, resilience and tremendous generosity in the lines etched on the faces of the older individuals he befriended and in the joyful, abundant, carefree laughter of the young children he met.
Another friend (and distant family member:), was in Turkey more recently and the depleted, sad faces you might expect to see in Vietnam colored the faces of refugees he documented. These two experiences are not my own but having been able to see tangible material they came away with from those moments, it got under my skin so much I had to blog about them.
From Vietnam then to Turkey now and everything in between there is truth. The truth in an image of a young naked Vietnamese child running along a bloodied dirt road has been replaced by the truth in the image of a young drowned toddler, washed up on a beach in Greece.
How is it possible we have come so far and yet not that far at all? How is it possible we are allowing our humanity to revert at such a rapid rate globally? How is it that race relations right here in America in 2015 are finding a renaissance equitable to 1963? When did Robert Frost's 'good fences make good neighbors' become something we took literally instead of arguing against?
And what responsibility as artists, as producers of art, as educators of art do we have to create something that helps people answer those questions? Do we have a responsibility?
In an episode of The West Wing, Laura Dern's character, a U.S. Poet Laureate, says, 'You think I think an artist's job is to speak the truth. An artist's job is to captivate you for however long we have asked for your attention. If we stumble into the truth, we got lucky, and I don't get to decide what truth is.'
Now I'm not aware of every minute motivation of the folks I know who went to Vietnam and Turkey; if every one of their experiences were purposeful or if they 'stumbled into the truth' but I am aware that there are forces, whether good or bad not being of consequence, that are slowing the distribution of that work, to which my mind and heart have found truth in. As creators, producers, educators of art, if we allow ourselves to believe in that little bit of Aaron Sorkin script magic, at the very least we must be responsible for allowing that truth we each stumble into, to be experienced. If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
If we stumble into the truth while creating and we aren't allowed to share it, or worse, we don't share it, will we ever come closer to answering those questions...come closer to knowing truth?
I hope those pieces of art from Vietnam and Turkey that stumbled into truth whether on purpose or by shear luck find their way to more than those of us who follow these guys on Instagram or Facebook. I hope that any of us who create, when confronted with some truth, acknowledge it and share it. And I hope that the faces around the world and right here at home that know such grief and strife will one day, like the smiling Vietnamese, be able to stumble into truth and to ask confidently and safely....
What's next???
Selena
Time wounds all heals...
I intended to follow up on my last post and devote some attention to 'human' service as opposed to customer service because as creatives the disturbing things, as much as the beautiful things in the world, are ones we must absorb in order to feed our creativity. Owing to the great good fortune of some colleagues material I wanted to use in this post being considered for other more visible platforms, of which I am very excited for them, I have had to rethink this week's LATE (sorry:) blog post.
In a short span of time since starting this blog, I have known a lot of newer disappointment, sadness and fear and also had to confront hurts that I tried to escape this summer. But I cannot escape anything that happens to me. Nor can you. So what do I, you do instead, with all that negative matter?
As creatives we have to allow those things to seep into our skin and use them to be better at our work, our lives. While I wanted to touch on some things happening globally, I don't quite have the raw materials I need...so my raw material this week is my own. I am not going to share details except to offer this...I don't take for granted for one minute those hurts and heartaches and disappointments and sadness I have experienced since late last year because they are informing how I will stand up to others that will inevitably come and go as I continue to build my own consultancy and hell, just live my life.
If you, I as a creative can be grateful for rather than take for granted every success as well as every failure, every heartache as well as every first kiss, every lost trusted kindred spirit as well as every new friend, every mourned soul as well as every rediscovered memory of them, then we will all be better at what we create, why we create it and who we create it for.
And perhaps when we get to a place where we are doing exactly what we want professionally and being appreciated for it and generally enjoying every part of our own lives and we discover we may have nothing new to offer creatively, there will always be someone there to spur us on with one of the most challenging things we as creatives can encounter. A single question...
What's next???
Selena
The Secret Life of Selena Mitty
I had a thoroughly pleasant and gratifying encounter with Amazon.com this week. The end result is that though I had to return some things I ended up with The Secret Life of Walter Mitty and The Goonies in my #AmazonInstantVideoLibrary for less than the price of one of their HD rentals.
I am not trying to offer Amazon up for slaughter by masses of individuals trying to get something free. I had a very legitimate reason this transaction between they and I took place and they were great about it. And the other parties involved were also taken care of.
I only wanted to draw attention to Amazon and this situation because they provided incredible customer service. And it got me thinking about our service to others, the very idea of customer service and how rare it is.
We as artists, though I believe at some point in our lives enter our artistic or cultural industries/studies/disciplines wanting to produce 'art for art's sake', realize along the way that we can't really do that. We have 'customers': audience, patrons, participants, viewers, movie-goers, aficionados, enthusiasts, fans, super fans, collectors, connoisseurs, devotees, fanatics, followers, supporters, backers, votaries, habitues', lovers, 'card-carrying' members, appreciators, aesthetes, arbiters, junkies, groupies, admirers, zealots, even disciples that we are bound to create for.
We owe it to more than ourselves and our egos to produce the creative articles that the muse inspires us with. Now along the way we won't please every one of those 'types' of customer. #Mapplethorpe didn't have every 'customer' in mind when he produced in particular, his underground bondage and BDSM photos. #Cerny was not looking to please the occupants of #Prague Castle when he installed, in the middle of the #VltavaRiver, his giant purple hand with the middle finger pointed directly at the Castle; nor did #ROH likely have the sensibilities of every 'customer' in mind when they opened the graphic, rape-filled #GuillaumeTell this year.
As creators there is likely a time in the evolution of our creative lives when we are confronted with the muse that inspires us to push the boundaries of what our 'customers' finds acceptable, palatable ne worthy of their consideration. Even children's theatre doesn't please every parent.
But while we take those risks and need no reason to explain why we create what we do, I think there is value in building a dialogue as best we can that addresses what spurred our interest in the subject matter that might be met with disdain. I am not necessarily talking about education, I am just talking about basic 'customer service'.
Have you ever gone into an office and been met with a receptionist on the other side of the desk who didn't bother to look up or acknowledge your existence? Annoying isn't it? I believe we have an obligation to, at the very least, provide good customer service: to say hello, to welcome people into our work and to be willing to answer those questions, those disagreements, those outright refusals of our work, with a courteous smile and whatever information we can that will inform their understanding more.
No matter what there will always be those who dislike what we produce and some will go even further to try and have it banned and binned but we often dislike what we aren't willing to understand, even the receptionist on the other side of the desk who has not acknowledged us. But I think a very important way for those of us that create to continue to move forward in our disciplines is to be willing to engage those that don't agree with what we have produced. We won't please everyone but if we can be a bit like #Amazon customer service (no the hashtags are not part of some deal I cut with Amazon!), then we will be able to move forward with ever more confidence in our creative endeavors. All we need is one to ask....
What's next???
Selena
The Muse
Muse: a woman, or a force personified as a woman, who is the source of inspiration for a creative artist; (in Roman and Greek mythology) one of nine goddesses, daughters of Zeus and Mnemosyne, who preside over the arts and sciences.
My grandmother Irene Anguiano....my muse, a saint, the bravest woman I know. The Rose Kennedy of our Anguiano clan. She has known more heartache in her 77 years then I will ever know in my life. My small hurts and disappointments and failures are nothing to those of hers-the loss of both parents at the same time, her two eldest sons-my father and uncle, two husbands-my grandfather, her husband of 39 years and her second husband, an equally good man, of only 6, two brothers and a father-in-law she helped nurse for the last 15 years or so of his life.
As artists, creators, discoverers, archivists of the human condition, we all have a muse whether we acknowledge it or not. Someone or some thing that spurs us on with quiet, unspoken grace, humility, wisdom, courage and love among other things. The muse encourages our best efforts to chronicle how we connect to one another; whether through solace, comfort, friendship, love, even pain, anger, frustration and sorrow.
My muse will possibly undergo open heart surgery on September 9, the birthday of her second son. 'Possibly' because the practice of medicine leaves many unanswered questions that will hopefully be resolved that day. She will first undergo a procedure to determine that there are no other clogged arteries elsewhere in her body and if there are she will be rescheduled for bypass surgery first. The possibility of a pacemaker lurks in the shadow, as do small percentages too painful to think about.
Though unwittingly I followed the muse's calling back to Dallas almost three years ago, I have never felt quite at home the way I do other places in the US or the world. (Granted I haven't been everywhere in the world or in the US but I'm confident in my level of comfort with the places I have come to love and consider for setting down for at least as much time as I have spent in Dallas.)
But the universe, the higher power many of us recognize as God and unseen forces have kept me here for longer than I might really want. And after learning about my muse today and the next challenge she will know, I understand why I am here. Its my turn to be a muse...to really inspire others to think those brave thoughts, to be the artists and creators they truly want to be and help them in a most tangible way to create, to express and to share their art.
What I love about my brand of muse is that even though I am here for the moment, I can still help others that want it, wherever they are in the world. That is what my muse has done for me my whole life...been the source of inspiration whether I was in DC or Dubai, California or Cyprus, Italy or Illinois.
I hope that as you determine who your muse is, think about what they or it brings to your creativity and embrace it. And if you haven't the exact know-how to make it happen, this muse is enthusiastically waiting to help you. All that's left to ask is....
What's next???
Selena